We first learn how to be in relationships when we are children. If you had caregivers who were loving, attentive, consistent, felt safe in your home environment and were treated like you mattered, you may be more securely attached and likely to have healthier relationships. If you didn’t have your foundational needs met when you were growing up or were neglected or abused, you may be insecurely attached and find that you struggle to maintain healthy relationships.
What Makes a Healthy Relationship?
• Trust
• Emotional Safety
• Mutual Respect
• Clear Communication
Some of the things that may have prevented secure attachment:
• Parental alcohol abuse, drug abuse or unaddressed mental health issues
• Abusive caregivers
• Death of a parent or primary caregiver or other traumatic events
• Busy or over-extended caregivers
Treating attachment issues:
Therapy can help you address patterns in your thoughts and behavior towards others that damage relationships, platonic or romantic, including: porous boundaries, inability to communicate your needs, fear of abandonment, low trust levels, stuffing your emotions, toxic independence or codependence, to name only a few. There are many ways childhood hurts can lead to adult relational dysfunction. Therapy provides a safe environment for unflinching self-reflection with a trusted and supportive professional.
